When you visit my Friendster profile (
www.friendster.com/azureangelo), you will find 11 descriptions in the 'About Me' section. Here are the explanations since not few are asking what do I exactly mean:
1
.Socio-sexually unrestricted. It is my high-school-classmate-slash-Psych-major-slash-friend who describes me as this. According to her, this type of people is those that do sex sans the commitment. She’s one of the only few people whom I can confide all my secrets, yes, including that phase of my life. She says this is the more politically-correct term for promiscuous people like me. She gives me this tag because the impression that she gets from my storytelling is that I am someone who does ‘it’ just for pleasure. When I have occasional introspection, I can say that she is right, because even when I am already committed, I did one act of infidelity some time in my colorful past, and as of this writing, I still can’t think of sex as for reproduction per se.
2.
Full-time escapist, frustrated idealist. As a young individual, I am very ideal that someday I’ll be living in a big house with the perfect family and working in a big company. I also think of a corrupt-free, first-world Philippines whose citizens are very law-abiding. But I know that all these are only realities in dreams, so every night, what I do is fantasize and dream. Well, cliché says that there’s hope while living. Perhaps yes, perhaps no, but I don’t think these are achievable in my lifetime.
3.
Obsessive-compulsive, manic-depressive. I regard myself as someone who is extremely, exceedingly organized. When an assignment in class is given, I immediately do it in the afternoon or during breaks. I may not finish it but I do get it a point that I already make a substantial amount of the assignment before the day ends. The OC-ness extends even to my clothing. I make it a point that I get to wear every single pants and shirt before I use it again. For example, if I have 50 shirts, and have worn shirt 44 for this day, I should not wear shirt 44 again unless all the other 49 are worn. There was also this point when I would plan my clothes for the whole week, from tops to accessories to footwear. I am also manic-depressive because my emotion can make a 180-degree turn in a matter of seconds.
4.
Conceitedly narcissistic. If taking pictures of yours from your mobile phone is vanity, then I am too guilty. If having a weekly pedicure is vanity, I am again guilty. If always looking you at the mirror is vanity, then I am guilty anew. Well, I just want to look good to feel good. It makes me feel lighter and happier knowing that I know that I look good.
5.
Vague and obscure. Oftentimes, though I am conversationally narcissistic (in communication, this is the type of person who either a.) wants to always be the one who does the talking; or b.) wants to be the subject of conversations), I don’t want to divulge my real emotions so I sugarcoat what I say or read. This description is from my Creative Writing instructor (who gave me my lowest grade of 2.25 yet and mind you, this is the very first grade that appears in my online record and in my TCG. Ggrrr!) who castigated my poem, which was required in her class. From that point, I’m considering myself as ‘vague and obscure.’ Yes, I hold back my feelings when the need arises (and I define what need is. Oh yes, I’m indeed the king if vagueness) because I want to project that I am someone who is very confident at all times, someone who doesn’t know what the word ‘worry’ is.
6.
Progressive and competitive. I am open-minded, especially when I enter UP where I discover that there is more beyond religion, having no religion subject (I was in a Catholic school since first grade) and having been surrounded by people with different—and sometimes no—religion. I favor abortion, euthanasia, same-sex marriage, or premarital sex because I find out that we can not universalize everything. I must say that my Philosophy 171 (Ethics) class really has opened my eyes and heart on deciding what is morally upright. After Philo 171, religion is no longer the sole basis in my decision-making. Now about me being competitive. My classmates always say that I am this one, because I always want to excel in my classes, by being the OC person that I am. In short, I make ‘career’ everything that is assigned to me, even in my school and civic organizations, because I believe that you have to strive and give almost all yourself in everything that you do. I say almost because being focused in one thing doesn’t mean overlooking other commitments in your life, at least for me. I join as many clubs as I can, from student council to academic orgs.
7.
Actuated by self-interest. In short, selfish. Of course, everything must emanate from within. How can I share resources to other people (time, money, love, etc.) if I can’t help myself first. This is not to say that I forget other people. I still believe that no man is an island. The latest example of this is just last week when my classmates and professor during the second semester held a get-together in the sunken garden at 5pm. I initially confirmed my attendance but I realized that I had been lacking sleep and rest for that week due to my summer classes. So that day, I said no, and told them another quotable quote: I love you guys but I love myself more.
8.
Ultimate denial king. Like what I have said earlier, I don’t want to divulge every footstep I make because though my life is an open book, I still want to keep that mystery in me so I can excite others. Or for example, if I like a person, I don’t want to be the first to admit it. I will wait for that person to admit whatever it is to be admitted because whether I believe it or not, I fear rejection, besides fearing death.
9.
Ambitious. As soon as I finish college, I want to be hired by the best broadcasting company and own a condominium unit after a year. I want to gain fame and glitz (disclaimer: I didn’t enter mass communication just for these worldly desires) and reap awards. I want to bring my family to Australia and build a house for them with swimming pool and cinema-like room. I want to marry the hottest, most voluptuous woman and make the handsomest children who will be great celebrities. Need I say more?
10.
Incomplete. I can say that I am contented with the things that I have today. I believe that I’m a blessed individual with a very supportive family, good UP education, cheerful friends, healthy social life, and encouraging organizations. If during the elementary and high school days, I was a big fish in a small pond, as I entered our beloved university, I realized I am still a small fish in a big ocean. I still hold insecurities, such as physical and academic ones.
11.
Zoophobic, Thantophobic. I fear animals. I fear death. =)